I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
