I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
