She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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