There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
