I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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