He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
