Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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