just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
