You made me cry and you don't even care
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The feeling are messing with the penis
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up under a house in Key West
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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