So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
