Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My liver just broke up with me...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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