you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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