so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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