I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
