if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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