I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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