Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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