I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
