you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
