Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
