Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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