turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
