i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He shit in the fireplace
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
