I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
