I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
