Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
