What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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