I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
