take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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