Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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