Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize