**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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