I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
