Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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