I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
