Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
