Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
