I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
tell me about the eggs
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
