He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
