Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
