Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
