haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
