god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
3pm strippers are depressing
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
