Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
