Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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