we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
