The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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