this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I AM VODKA MAN
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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