My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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