Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
